Split Gown

“I was sittin’ here mindin’ my business, kinda lettin’ my mind go slack, When in comes a nurse with a bright, sunny smile. And a gown that was split down the back. “Take a shower,” she said, “and get ready, and then jump into this sack.” What she was really talkin’ about was the gown with the split down the back. “They’re coming to do some tests,” she said.  They’re gonna stretch me out on a rack, with nothin’ twixt me and the cold, cruel world but a gown that’s split down the back.

It comes only to the knees in front, in the sides there is also a lack. But by far the greatest shortcoming is that bloomin’ split down the back. Whoever designed this garment, for humor had a great knack But I fail to see anything funny ’bout a gown that’s split down the back.

I hear them coming to get me, the wheels going clickety-clack. I’ll ride through the halls on a table, in a gown with a split down the back.

When I get to Heaven it’ll make me no odds if my robe is white, red, or black. The only thing I will ask is, “Please, give me one with no split down the back.”

I do not know who the author is of this bit of verse but I find it amusing, hilarious. Yet, we who have been in the hospital wearing this “gown with a split down the back” find it rather embarrassing. Maybe, I should say the experience is humbling.  The “gown with the split down the back” brings us all down to earth. It stripes us of our pride. It is too bad that it takes this “gown with the split down the back” to make us realize that we will all stand before God, naked, not even with a “gown with the split down the back.”

Nothing can we take with us when we go to meet God but in Jesus He will dress us in Heavenly Clothing and you can rest assured it will not be with the “gown with the split down the back.”

3 Responses to “Split Gown”

  1. The truth is that on that day when we stand before God, the clothing will be perfect, the fit will be perfect because the body will be perfect. Imperfection will not exist anywhere where our God abides. The amazing truth is that we will be perfect also, made so by Jesus and God the Father.

  2. I appreciate this brief and very funny article. I, too, know about those split gown. I came from the hospital last weekend from my arteries in the neck repaired.

  3. Cute . . . I’m going to share this with our seniors group!

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